WARNING: This story deals with family violence and may be upsetting to some readers.
A judge issued recommended reading when handing out a prison sentence to a man for “serious family violence” in which young children were involved.
Judge Barbara Morris told Ryan De Souza in the Blenheim District Court on Tuesday that the Australian book, Look What You Made Me Do* might help him gain insight into why he blamed the victim for his offending.
“There’s a lot of that when I read through the Summary of Facts, that you pushed it back on her,” Judge Morris said.
In a spate of offending last year De Souza strangled, struck, slapped and kicked the victim in the head before strangling her again.
In one instance, when she tried to leave, she was holding a child and was struck in the face before De Souza threw a cell phone at her hit which hit the child she was holding and another child nearby.
She was attacked again when days later she messaged De Souza to ask what she had done to deserve such treatment.
He came around to her house and slapped her again, Judge Morris said in summarising the facts at sentencing.
“There’s no excuse for violence, but you told her it was her fault,” the judge said.
The offending was triggered when De Souza got angry over the victim communicating with a man on social media when she was selling items on his behalf.
He told her he would kill her and later when she pleaded for him to leave, De Souza put a knife to her neck and slapped and strangled her again.
The victim called police before the phone was wrestled off her, as De Souza was still holding a knife, Judge Morris said.
“You told her to get the police, get her family and you would slit their throats and it was all her fault,” she said.
De Souza, who has spent 394 days in custody on remand, was sentenced to three years and five months in prison on the lead charge of strangulation, amid a raft of charges he admitted including assault, assaulting a person in a family relationship, threatening to kill and threatening grievous bodily harm.
Judge Morris said strangulation was a life-threatening offence.
“It signals to a victim, ‘I’m in control. I can take your life, and I will’.”
The Crown sought a six-year starting point for prison.
Prosecutor Jerome Lao described what happened as “serious family violence” involving multiple strangulations throughout the relationship.
The victim was also attacked, including to her head, was slapped in the face and endured threats he would kill her. Once he pulled a knife and another time, a machete.
Lao said in some instances multiple children were present.
He said this, and the presence of weapons, made the offending “much worse”.
Defence lawyer Jackie van Schalkwyk acknowledged the victim, who was in court for the sentencing, and said none of what she said was intended to downplay her experience.
Van Schalkwyk said it was important De Souza understood how he had reached the stage he had and that a sentencing discount for personal circumstances was justified.
She also acknowledged his “differing expressions of remorse” which the court said made it hard to determine how genuine he was.
The Crown opposed any discount for remorse.
Van Schalkwyk said De Souza wanted to be a better parent and had “tried his level best” with the means available to him.
Judge Morris noted the many opportunities available to De Souza which he hadn’t taken up.
In setting a prison starting point of five-and-a-half years, she said family violence committed in front of children was more serious.
“Children witnessing these things don’t grow up to be the people they might become,” she said.
The judge also factored in the psychological abuse the victim had suffered, including that De Souza had threatened to take his own life and it would be “her fault”.
He was awarded discounts for his guilty pleas and the remorse that the judge accepted was genuine. He was also given credit for his personal circumstances and for his willingness to take part in Restorative Justice, to arrive at a sentence of three years and five months.
The Parole Board would decide his release, Judge Morris said.
De Souza was now also subject to Three Strikes law, meaning any further serious offending carried harsher penalties.
*Look What You Made Me Do, written by journalist and author Megan Norris. It explores cases where family violence turns lethally destructive toward both partners and children and investigates motives behind extreme retaliatory spousal violence.
